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Communication Styles (from NLC Guide to Relationships)
In previous chapters, we looked at people’s personalities and how they perceive and process sensory information.
As one would expect, it is natural for people’s speaking and listening to reflect their personalities and how they perceive and process information.
We might call this speaking and listening their communication style. And it is not uncommon for two people with different personalities to have very different communication styles.
For example, folks who are visually dominant may tend to speak and respond to words and phrases that reflect their visual dominance. “Can you see/picture…” or “It’s clear to me,” are just a few phrases a visually dominant person might use.
Conversely, auditory dominant persons may respond to phrases like, “I hear/heard you” or “It sounds good to me”.
Those of us who are logically dominant may tend to use phrases like, “It makes sense to me” or “That seems logical”.
While feeling/emotionally dominant folks may say, “It feels like…” or “I would love to…”.
Without awareness, it is absolutely possible for two people to speak and hear the same word but have a completely different understanding due to differing communication styles.
The following graph is a tongue-in-cheek look at what often happens when a Visual/Emotional Dominant (V/E) person tries to convey his or her excitement about something to an Auditory/Logical Dominant (A/L) person.
As you can see, the Visual/Emotional Dominant person starts out over-the-moon excited and wants to convey that excitement to the Auditory/Logical Dominant person. (This is a conversation that husbands and wives have re-played a million times.)
As the V/E person takes his conceptual, big picture vision and breaks it down into ‘chunks’ that the A/L person can digest, the V/E person’s excitement begins to wane.
At some point, the A/L person may get excited about the idea but by that time, the V/E has often lost his own interest/excitement for the idea.
If we are not consciously looking at our own communication style as well as those of our audience, we may be misunderstanding each other completely or at the very least, missing the opportunity to build empathy and rapport.
We live in a complex world and maintaining successful relationships is more challenging than ever.
Finding and choosing the right partner for a spouse, partners or business associate can mean the difference between success and failure both personally and professionally.
The NLC Guide to Love and Relationships is key to understanding why relationships succeed or fail and how to add your relationships to the success category.
Based on the FACE Personality Model, a research-based personality model developed at the Neuro-Linguistic Learning Center (NLC), The NLC Guide to Love and Relationships offers us a deep and profound understanding of personality and relationship dynamics.